Aamir welcomes all and speaks that today’s show is bit serious and it might be possible that some parents might wish that their children doesn’t watch his show then they can either send the kids to another room or other protective place. He speaks of his own opinion that kids aged between 10 to 12 years must watch today’s episode and speaks of respecting other opinions of people.
Discussion with Gazal Dhaliwal:
Aamir speaks of meeting different and interesting people during the show’s research and one of them is Gazal. She studied engineering and then worked for many years in Infosys and now works a writer in Bollywood [Hindi movies industry]. Aamit invites Gazal to know about her life. Aamir asks whether she is happy with our work of being a writer now ? He also reminds that she had to struggle and have tough time during her childhood and wants to know from her. Gazal Dhaliwal speaks that she was born in the wrong body and she was born as a boy but she never felt like a boy from inside and her friends were girls. She used to wear mother’s clothes and she starts realizing from 5 yrs. Her aunty slapped at that time and when she was 5 yrs old and a boy. Gazal speaks of understanding that there is some mismatch between body and soul but she didn’t inform others for long time. She speaks of having fear and she was called Chakka and other taunts in school because her mannerisms were like that of feminine. She used to curb her side and speaks of living in jail every second during that time. She speaks of opening up when she was 12 to 13 years but her family couldn’t understand at the onset and when she reached 16 years she thought of living alone in her life and got depressed. She stole some money and left home from Patiala to Delhi on the exam day. After reaching Delhi, she became scared and then decided to go back to her hometown Patiala and her parents gave their word of support. Soon, his father came to Delhi and while returning he informed of being her friend always and took her back. She went on to study engineering and worked in Infosys for 2 years in the college placement and lived in Mysore. She thought that her dreams to change her body will take some time and she then decided to pursue another dream which is to work in film industry and thus left Mysore to reach Mumbai. She learnt filmmaking course at St. Xavier’s college and made a documentary on Gender Identity and to research for that documentary she met lot of people who were also through this phase.
She then learnt about medical procedures to deal with gender identity crisis. She showed the documentary to her parents in Patiala and they looked back at her and asked when she wants to have medical surgery for her gender identity. Everyone applauds and she cites that moment as the turning point. She wrote an e-mail to all relatives and friends about changing her identity via medical surgery. After the surgery, the nurse was shocked to see her reaction after the surgery since she was quite and not excited like other girls. Gazal speaks of having peace rather than excitement since it was the right thing. She feels every day independent and a rewarding gift day and feels like 6 to 7 year old. Aamir asks how about boys getting attracted to her ? She replies on a big thing to receive such attention from boys though its late but fine. Gazal’s current dreams is to make a film and also to travel the world, and life partner and Aamir asks her to bring one script to him so that he can read and get interested. She suggests that many people will think of her changing the gender so that she can flirt and woo boys but the truth is that she did it because she wanted to love herself. Gazal sings – Yeh Hausla Kaise Ghuke.. Yeh Aazroo Kaise Ruke.. song and her father smiles to see her singing. Aamir invites Gazal’s parents – Bhajan Pratap Singh and Sukarni Dhaliwal. Aamir asks them about the difficulty with the society’s acceptance of their daughter’s sex change ? Sukarni ji replies on going through tough times then and now she is proud that Gazal is her daughter. Bhajan ji speaks of informing the neighbours about his daughter’s sex change and urge them to accept her. Aamir speaks with neighbours of Gazal’s in Patiala who speak about their happiness to see Gazal post her surgery. Aamir speaks that when parents accept their child then neighbors tend to accept as well. Aamir calls her parents as Heroes and salutes them and call them Super Duper parents and showers a hug to all. The audience gives standing ovation to them.
Discussion with Deepak Kashyap:
Next guest is Deepak Kashyap who was born in middle-class family in Ajmer and was popular in his family and friends from childhood. He got support from his family, studied a lot and now works at a top position with stable job and lives well. But he faced hard time as well at one time in his life and he was sad and even tried to commit suicide since situations were deteriorating a lot. Deepak is seen with Aamir on stage and he speaks of having feminine side during his childhood and he was told to behave like a boy and he was 5 yrs old. He reached 12 to 13 years and found that boys and girls started behaving differently and used to have strange smile and he was not understanding such thing. A boy tried to flirt with him and his heart was beating much faster and his cheeks become red and he was feeling happy. He speaks of not able to touch the girl’s hand and not feel comfortable with it. Aamir asks whether he went on a date. Deepak replies that going on a date in Ajmer is much different in Mumbai. Aamir becomes surprised and laughing asks what about Mumbai and then Ajmer ? Deepak speaks of coming from a well-educated family though not much rich and he wanted to make them proud and become their pride not shame. As he was growing up, he thought of giving shame and then thought to cut his wrist and commit suicide but stopped in doing it after recollecting that his mother would die if he dies. Deepak speaks that acceptance is human’s need and to accept yourself first. He speaks of having two experiences at the age of 16 yrs – one, his thoughts on giving up life which he retracted, and second, kissing a boy in the neighborhood and feeling much happy. He compared those two experiences and choose the later since there is life in it and decided to live and see happiness.
Deepak speaks of not feeling apologetic and suggests that how much asks for mercy you will get hatred in return. Deepak inform his parents at the age of 20 yrs about being attracted to mind and body of a man and not to a woman. His father became silent on hearing it and no reaction. This silence ran for 2 yrs which is a big achievement for Punjabi family. They never trade-off their fear against the love of their children. He speaks of family’s having fears and worry regarding their son’s marriage since it will extend their family and lineage. For them, they are feared of it, and homosexuality can be kept aside. Their family took some time and have the same love and less fear and are happy to see their son well-settled and have the ability to remain happy. He informs that his mother speaks to his partner much more than him on WhatsApp. Aamir asks the audience in the studio there – What would be their reaction if their children comes out and speaks to be gay, lesbian, homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders ? 50 % of the audience shows their support to accept their child easily, and another big percentage of people would find it bit disturbing. A man speaks of getting a shock if his son speaks about being gay and will suggest him as solution to get out of it. Another man speaks that community will not accept such thing for sure, another lady suggests on getting big shock if her daughter comes to her and speaks about having preference for a girl.
Discussion with Dr. Anjali Chhabria:
Aamir then welcomes Dr. Anjali Chhabria, a Psychiatrist and he ask whether homosexuals, bisexuals, gay is a disease ? She replies it to be natural which happens at birth and also not the fault of child and parents. She speaks that as heterosexuals cannot become homosexuals, in the same way homosexual cannot become heterosexual. Dr. Anjali speaks that shock treatment cannot help and even Yoga cannot do it. One of the audience member speaks that he has 2 normal kids and ask the doctor if his kids play with homosexuals, gay/lesbians then is there any danger to them ? Dr Anjali speaks that everyone is normal including homsexuals, and if our kids befriends homosexuals and stay with them then they will not get influenced and become like them. Aamir speaks that as parents we should make sure that our kids are in good company. Dr. Anjali speaks that kids take much time to inform their parents and when they inform you then support them since parents support is most important. If you scared them, he will take more wrong steps like taking drugs, running from home and other things. Thus, instead of making them scared give them love and your relationships will become much stronger.
Discussion with Divya:
Aamir speaks of the next guest Divya. Divya got married and her husband used to love her a lot and after marriage they got settled in Chicago and the people think of them as ideal and happy couple. But after 10 years of marriage, Divya and her husband took decision to separate. Divya is then seen with Aamir and she informs him of coming from Calcutta (Kolkata) and belongs to a conservative and traditional family and had a regular childhood. During her masters, she met a boy and felt nice with him and after 4 years she got pressure from family regarding marriage. She decided to marry that boy since no one else made her much comfortable than him and soon they married. Divya’s husband went to Chicago for work and got settled there and she used to go and visit him for six months every summer and then returns back to India since she was pursuing her Ph.D. studies. They used to live fully during that short time they spent in Chicago and used to do talking and felt physical relationship is not needed. She speaks of having very rare physical contacts with her husband and after completing her studies she went to Chicago and was pressurized by her parents to think about baby. She speaks of not liking the physical and intimate moments with her husband and used to get some dreams of lesbians and also got crush on some girls there. She then thought whether she was a lesbian ? She got feared of that thought and also she used to love her husband a lot. And also she was not financially independent since she never worked in her life and became much depressed and thought to take her life. Luckily, she met a therapist there who changed her life and she spoke to him about her fantasies if that was possible. Divya’s husband also went to the counselling and he was depressed. He was upset on learning that his wife wants separation from him.
They took a decision together for a divorce and all three – Husband, therapist and herself make a thought process on how she can be converted from a dependent wife to independent person. She was coached by her husband for job training and she found a job in India. Her family was shocked and also her in-laws got more shock and she is still in touch with her former husband and in-laws. After the divorce, the ex in-laws were very supportive and called her as their daughter and understood her feelings. Aamir calls her ex in-laws as amazing. She speaks of feeling happy and now lives with her partner and all her dreams came true. Aamir wishes her the best and showers a hug to her.
Discussion with Simran Shaikh:
The AV shows the story of a boy from Parsi colony Mumbai who learnt as he was growing up in not getting attracted to girls and didn’t support from his family and people around him to his problem. In the end, he decided to leave home at the age of 14 yrs and after many years found himself as Simran. Simran Shaikh is seen with Aamir and she informs that her father until now haven’t accepted her. She speaks of getting taunts from her parents and even siblings. After getting much negativity, she left her home [then she was boy] after telling father and he replied get lost. At that time, she went to Bombay Central and had 16 INR then and she was given food by a Kinnar (Hijra, Eunuch) and she went with her. She speaks of learning Taali (clap), 4 months to grew her hair, used to beg in train since she needed to support her.
Simran speaks of working for sex work on highways as well though she was uncomfortable and then decided to work in the dance bar. She started working there and earning money and reached 17 years and decided to study but in illegal way. She make fake certificates – bonafide and completed graduation. She became a volunteer for NGO and in 2010 she got a offer from HIV India Aids alliance and since 4 years she is managing a program at the national level which runs in 17 states. She feels proud on her journey – bar dancer, sex worker, outreach worker and now at national level. She speaks about Hijra community facing stigma and taunts which is attached to it a lot and Hijra community asks for money since they didn’t got job from people.
Aamir speaks about Supreme court judgement which has made the “Hijra community as the third gender“ and all public departments have to accept and work.
She informs that Hijra has a ritual, customs, traditions, and attaches it and has to take an oath. She speaks of not having social support and thus turned into Hijra and now she has that support who care for her.
Simran speaks of her father told that she is dead for him and now she is content with her world. She asks that beautiful creation of God is human and if we don’t treat humans well then we are disrespecting God. Aamir thanks her and showers a hug. The AV shows how LGBT community is treated and abused badly and they are first abused and assaulted at home. Section 377 of IPC law states homosexuality as a punishable offence and that law is being misused. Aamir speaks to Anjali Gopalan from Naz foundation and Gautam Bhan from Voices against Section 377. Aamir asks Anjali about her petition which she filed in Delhi High Court. She replies the time was the year 1999/2000 and receives a family with son and she was counselling them and after 2 months the boy came back and spoke about getting shock treatment so that he can get converted from homosexuals to heterosexuals. She became angry and wrote a petition and passed on to Human rights commission and they inform on not able to file the petition since it violates Article 377. She then understood on the need to change the law which is must. Gautam speaks that in the law such acts are unnatural and the law came in 1807 and brought up by the British. Britain have changed their law 50 years back. Gautam suggests that if two people are getting attracted and agree to it and adult and its their own identity, then how law can call it unnatural ? Anjali speaks of getting a big judgement from Delhi High Court in 2009 about de-criminalizing homosexuality. Then the Supreme Court rejected that high court’s judgement and calls LGBT community as miniscule and didn’t consider their rights. Aamir speaks that we all need to show our support.
He then speaks of the #MumkinHai question – Should Section 377 be amended to end discrimination and violence against the LGBT community ? and people agree with it then they can give a missed call on toll-free no 1800 833 4003. Aamir speaks of supporting Naz Foundation and Humsafar Trust (Vivek Raj Anand and Sonal are present on the studio). You can support them via Axis Bank, Airtel Money and Reliance foundation will give 1 Crore INR which will be divided equally.
Discussion with Rani Sharma – Daadi & Aamir signing off :
Aamir welcomes Rani Sharma – Daadi who took part in No Going Back campaign in December 2013. She speaks of her grandson Sambhav to be gay and she supported for all the children of the country. She speaks of dancing at his engagement and did all punjabi rituals. She wants all grandmothers, mother to show support. Aamir speaks that since long time we are hurting one community, and not seeing their talent at all, and even raising a question on them being humans ? What right we have to do such things and it didn’t suit us ? They have all people like us, their dreams like us and its time we need to accept them. Remember, its a natural thing by birth and not a disease. He wants people to get rid of their fears and accept them and get lot of prayers in return. Aamir signs off with Jai Hind.. Satyamev Jayate !!
The Maati Maati Mein.. Maati Maati Tu.. song highlights the importance of respecting every human being, plays in the end credits.
Episode Video: Satyamev Jayate Season 3, Episode 3, 19th October 2014 (Hindi)
Episode Video: Subtitled in English